Caffinated Barricade is Asexy
by Lyra Harp
Summary: Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find an asexuality club at a college? This is what happens when you try. Frenzy gets soaked. Barricade wants more. Helen goes mental. Blurr goes into shock. Jazz laughs. Have fun reading, because Primus has already passed out. Prequel to Caffinated Blurr. OC story


**Summary: **_This is for those of you who are in the middle of the application process or are going to part take in it in the near future. It may be a pain, and the expense may sometimes not seem worth it, but in the end_...

**PMS** + **Caffeine** + **College searches **+ **College interviews **+ **Blurr talking nonstop **+ **Loud music certacy of Jazz **+ **Frenzy interferring **+ **Caffeine addict turned nervous wreck**= **Autobot Switch **+ **Frightened autobots **+ **Random crying **+ **Insane laughing **+ **Silent Blurr **+ **Processor crashes **+ **Frenzy with no body **+ **Caffeine addict turned ninja**

Now divide that answer by New York City traffic and you have one thing to worry about:

Primus going on a vacation for all the prayers he receives from the autobots and the decepticons for coffee to be terminated.

Why he went on a vacation:

He couldn't follow through on that prayer.

Why he couldn't ease their processors:

Imagine the insanity at no caffeine for college students, let alone the people who work from nine to five + overtime + a social life + relationship = Insanity.

_That's all you need to know. Enjoy the insanity._

**Warning:** I rant...alot...Skip what you don't like.

~0~

I didn't necessarily have a problem with it. The problem was not knowing. Although...I suppose that college is all about not knowing. It's a jump into the unknown. Most of the time you leave home to attend the 'school of your dreams', so it has to be perfect. But you can't know if its perfect unless you've searched the website a thousand times and checked your bank account to see if you need financial aid. But it's not enough to check the website a thousand times, you have to visit the college. For some, that can be a bit difficult. But that wasn't the problem. I _had_ the necessary forms of transportation given a mission didn't get in the way. The problem was finding a college with an asexuality club. Seems kind of clean cut, right? Dead wrong. Primus knows I felt like dying at the end of _that_ week.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find an asexuality club_ in your state_...at a college _with_ the major that you want? It's next to impossible. Not every college may be open to homosexuality, but at least there's more than asexuality. I had seen a lot of LGBTQA clubs in my search for the perfect college. You know what the A stands for? Allies. I mean, I love allies. More power to them. But c'mon! At least put another A in there! In my quest, there was some form of acceptance. GSA, LGBTQ, coed, color, international...Whatever the title, whatever the college, they all screamed diversity and acceptance. But I never once saw a college that mentioned anything about asexuality.

I personally think that asexuality should be included in the LGBTQ group since it falls into the 'generally not accepted' category. Maybe it falls into the 'generally not accepted and/or completely unknown' category...Ya know, like objectum sexuals, carsexuals, beast sexuals...But it's not the same as those sexualities either...So where does the big Asexy come into play? Does it just wave its hands in outer space? 'Hey, I'm here! Hello? Anyone?' Asexual's don't get hounded by religious folks, but they get frustrated just like anyone else.

It's a society routed expectation to end up with a partner and have children. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem with people. However, it continues to be an annoyance to the people who are either single, choose to wait to have children, or don't want them at all.

"You single?" Yup. "Get a partner."

"You have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Yes. "Where's the promise ring?" _Do they even _have_ those anymore?_

"You living together?" Yes... _Why would that be any of your business? _"Get married."

"You married?" Yup. "Have children." _You_'_re not obligated to have children or adopt just because you_'_re married_. _You can get married and not have sex_. _It_ _doesn_'_t mean you or your partner aren_'_t healthy, it doesn_'_t make you freaks, and it doesn_'_t mean your relationship is going to fall to pieces_. _A relationship based on sex isn_'_t a good one_. _People have better things to offer than just sex_. _Like comfort, love, acceptance_...

"You have children?" No. "Why? Are one of you defected? Is there a problem?" _I_'_m sorry, but that_'_s just rude_.

"You have children?" Yes. "Great! How about five or ten more?" XD ... **-.-'**

What is the point in pressuring people to do things they don't want to do? It doesn't make anyone happy and only leads to tension. I'm not rebelling against society by remaining single, nor is the world going to end if I choose to remain so. I just have no interest in having a partner at the moment. I may not even be interested in having a partner for the next ten years. Maybe not even for the rest of my life. Everyone goes at their own pace. If you haven't figured this out by now, words can break souls and have tolerance levels drop to zero. The same went for my endless college search. It hurt to have the clubs not mention asexuality even though that may seem kind of silly. '_Will the club accept me?_' That was the question that actually brought me to tears. I can tell you right now that that wasn't just a lack of sleep talking, because that was on day one. As if that wasn't enough, I began the week with my menstrual cycle the same day as the intense college searches, drank coffee instead of water, stayed up three days in a row, slept for a day, was up for another three days in a row, and the application deadline was in...two weeks.

I really don't think that the college emails helped. At times, those college emails can be as annoying as political ads. But you don't want to delete the emails even though you know you'll never go to that college for reason X. But you don't want to hurt the college's feelings by pushing the unsubscribe button even though you know that it's a waste of time for the college to email you if you know that you don't plan on going. In the end, it's unfair to keep a college on its toes to get you to apply when you know you won't. After all, someone has to write those emails, and its unprofessional to not reply at least a week after to let the college know if you plan on at least checking the college out. So you search the website. If you like the college or are considering it, keep the emails. If you don't for whatever reason, then click unsubscribe. You'll save yourself the frustration and the college their time so that they can email someone who may actually have an interest in attending.

When I had about had it with all things college related, Jazz reeled me in to earth from space afterward. He and Blurr had been sharing the guardian role since Blurr got nervous whenever I got emotional. His way of handling it would have involved stuttering (uhuhuhumhug? Nohug? OkayumchocolatecaffeineIdon'tknowwhatthehellamIsupposedt odoJazzy!), racing around in circles, and processor crashes. Jazz had a nice long talk with me before I took a nap on his chest. After I woke up, he handed me a steaming cup of vanilla coffee and told me to get my head in the game with the song from _High School Musical_ to back it up.

When I finally found a college that had it, there was good news and bad news. Good news...Hell, I found one! Bad news...It was in New York (halfway across the country) and it didn't have my major. It had my minor, but...Heck, it was something worth checking out. I had Blurr drive me...What a great idea that was. It would have been great if I hadn't been trying to sleep. Jazz came along in case I actually wanted to sleep in a car that wouldn't move...and to keep Blurr in check. That was obvious. I could've slept in the traffic if Blurr didn't rock on his wheels in place. He was as anxious as I was...Okay, maybe less so. I was half dead. He was wide awake. Jazz offered several times to switch vehicles. The traffic jams certainly would've allowed it. I eventually ended up falling asleep in mid panic mode. I don't know how, but considering how I felt when I woke up, I highly doubt that I even cared.

The area itself was foreign, loud and too crowded. I don't know what else I expected from a city, let alone New York. As if the road trip wasn't enough, guess who just had to show up? Barricade and Frenzy. Barricade was fine. I told Jazz to call Prowl and have him take care of his evil twin. Neither were amused. Barricade just huffed at the conversation. He sounded dead. Blurr didn't know it, but he was the autobot version of Frenzy without the 'I want to rip you to shreads' quality that Frenzy had. So when Frenzy tried to attack me in the middle of a sidewalk of all places while I was late for the information session at the college, I kicked his aft, short circuited him with coffee, took a shower, dressed in fresh clothes, and at least managed to make it to the tour on time. Considering that any words that were spoken during the ride home was a blurr, I don't dare question anything that I did now. I got into the college. Problem solved. Now I have Blurr up my aft trying to get me to drink more caffeine, Jazz on my tail to keep me away from the stuff, and Barricade asked Jazz_ in the middle of a battle _where to buy it. Problem solved my aft.

**Author's Note:** Let this serve as a lesson to all you high school students. If you plan on going to college...please...for the love of whoever or whatever you worship...Don't procrastinate! Even if you are a procrastinator, trust me, searching for colleges, getting the proper documents, financial aid, and everything else set in stone last minute is not worth it! You will appreciate the college much more if you aren't freaking out over deadlines.


End file.
